


a lingering summer

by thebriars



Series: drumfred ficlets [8]
Category: Victoria (TV)
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M, i guess i just like hurting my characters, i swear that they wont all be sad but, prompt collection, wow thats not good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-22 23:43:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15593415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebriars/pseuds/thebriars
Summary: basically i'm using quotes and song lyrics and regular old prompts to combat writing block via drumfred, as usualfeel free to request!!





	1. i'll still dream of you

**Author's Note:**

> yooo writers block is a bitch but i'm here to fight it *bad karate chop*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it would be a perfect wedding, if only edward was in love with florence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for some spammm

_“And I returned to my beautiful city,_

_Black skies have changed into blue._

_And though my love is so wise and so pretty,_

_Some nights, I’ll still dream of you.”_

\- Sea Wolf, _Dear Fellow Traveler_

 

It truly was a beautiful wedding.

Flowers lined the pews and gathered like snow in the windowsills, startlingly white against the high gray walls. There was a faint glow throughout the church, the soaring ceilings echoing the hum of the choir. Nevertheless, an air of discomfort permeated the beauty.

Edward had never liked weddings, and this opinion didn’t change at his own. Through all the celebration and the display of a textbook romance, he’d always felt that there was a melancholy finality to it all. A wedding was the true end of youth, and it put a stop to the glorious freedom Edward adored.

Alfred had never wanted to get married either, which certainly relieved them both. An unbound love seemed much preferable.

But Alfred was a thing of the past, nothing but a character in Edward’s memory, and Florence’s longing for a big, glorious wedding had priority to Edward’s own feelings. Not that he’d _told_ Florence that he wanted none of it.

God, if only things were different. If only Edward had less responsibility and if only his father hadn’t been so insistent and if only Florence had stopped it and if only Alfred had run away with him.

Then again, it was unfair to blame it on circumstance, and especially on Alfred. Edward had been the catalyst for his own fate, his tragic flaw peeking through at long last to deliver that final, fatal blow. To proclaim his own innocence was a sin of its own kind.

But did it really matter whose fault it was? Edward was vowing his devotion to a girl he didn’t love, cruelly cementing the biggest lie of his life into reality. He was steadily ignoring Alfred’s face in the back row, ignoring the way Mina held his hand in comfort - or something more. Edward was an actor in the play of a perfect life, moving in tune to a script he didn’t like.

Florence looked like a true princess, all clad in white and rosy with excitement. Edward wondered if he looked the part. He wondered if Florence truly loved him. He wondered if she had any idea that none of it was real. He wondered a lot of things.

And then the dreaded words came along and Florence seemed to rise a few inches in sheer anticipation and Edward wondered if Alfred would say something.

He didn’t, and Edward didn’t take the chance either. God, how things had changed.

Florence’s hands cupped his cheeks as they kissed, and he put on a show of spinning them a little like they did in the movies. He caught the look on Alfred’s face, something unreadable and numb and perfectly controlled. It hurt to see him so stoic, for Alfred was a man of incredible passion.

Of course, Edward was the one with a wife now.

 

•••

 

Months passed in a blur, filled with milestones Edward should have wanted to remember. The reception, the wedding night, the house hunting and Florence’s face when she told him that there was going to be a baby.

Edward felt her in his arms at night and wondered if things could have been different if he’d only been less of a fool. It was cruel to deceive them all, especially Florence, who had never wronged him in the slightest.

He pressed his face into her shoulder, as if to hide from his problems, and let himself imagine that it was someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear fellow traveler is a gr8 song: https://youtu.be/UUw1e7vvSRY
> 
> •••
> 
> i may be ace but im a hoe for comments <33


	2. the only thing worth fighting for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alfred may have finally fallen for somebody worth everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back-to-back posting because why not
> 
> also this is really just so i don't keep posting little spam shorts. now there's a whole fic of nothing but spam shorts, which is not a real improvement but whoops

_“Weren’t we like a battlefield,_

_Locked inside a holy war?_

_Your love and my due diligence:_

_The only thing worth fighting for.”_

\- Lera Lynn, _The Only Thing Worth Fighting For_

 

Alfred had never had much difficulty in getting a date. People seemed to fall for him like dominoes, and so did he. Why be alone when you could be studying someone new? It was a fascinating art, figuring people out. Alfred took special joy in discovering humanity’s passions and pains. He ached to leave himself behind in the form of memories, to paint his mark on someone and let it remain.

It was never difficult. Alfred was a master of flirtation, or so he liked to think. Mina said that it all just seemed cheesy from the outside, but he worked wonders with seduction nevertheless.

Of course, there was always an exception.

Edward Drummond was an enigma, ever so different from a mystery. He wasn’t hiding anything; he was just a riddle. All the pieces were there, if only Alfred could set them together.

He had never been faced with such an insurmountable task. After Alfred made eye contact with the stranger across the room, the rest of the evening’s activities lost priority to watching Edward move about the room. There was a grace to him, an intelligence, and something intriguing beneath his courteous exterior. Alfred couldn’t quite put his finger on it, and it drove him mad.

It started as a game, a quest to answer a question that nagged at Alfred’s conscious, but as Edward’s immunity to Alfred’s charms became clear, it turned into something new.

Alfred, oh so accustomed to being sought after, was finally the chaser of an unattainable prize. And it didn’t help that Edward was genuinely interesting and funny and charming, and it especially didn’t help that Alfred was slowly (but surely) falling for him.

Of course, a friendship blossomed, as was expected between two men of such similar mindsets, and an unfamiliar ache grew within him. It was terrifying and it hurt like nothing else ever had. It was beyond torture to hold himself back from the one thing Alfred ever truly wanted.

It was ironic beyond belief. Alfred, ever the heartbreaker, was suddenly left shattered by this utterly perfect man. Mina found it hilarious, but she too knew the ache. Alfred would be a dead man without her.

The temptation to begrudge Edward flickered within him, but it was simply impossible. Everything Alfred had thought he’d known was thrown to the wind, leaving a startling emptiness within him. It was shocking to have his morals so thoroughly obliterated.

Desperation was not something Alfred had ever liked, and yet he was reduced to it. The only thing he knew any longer was that he would do anything and everything for Edward. Edward was the only thing worth fighting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to request here or on my tumblr: thebriars
> 
> this is my favorite song of all time and you should 1000% check it out: https://youtu.be/mjg43nzSYck
> 
> •••
> 
> i may be ace but i'm a hoe for comments <33


	3. i don't say a lot of things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alfred mourns in silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> third times a charm bby 
> 
> the story here is that i haven't been able to get my laptop to hook up to the internet for a few days, which leads to a backlog of little shorts, and now i'm just spamming everybody. i am shameless.

_“I’ll never say that I’ll never love._

_But I don’t say a lot of things,_

_And you, my love, are gone.”_

\- Ingrid Michaelson,  _The Chain_

 

Silence had never been Alfred’s forte. He’d always been one to speak his mind, to paint his portrait through eloquence and poetry. It was fun to start anew at the palace, and the only way to sculpt Alfred Paget, Chief Equerry and Clerk Marshal, was to speak. 

And so he did. He became flirtatious and witty and mysterious. Alfred had always been the theatrical type, and now he was the star of the biggest show of his life. 

Of course, even the best of actors broke character. The moment Edward walked into Alfred’s life, handsome and bright and filled with a happiness Alfred could only fake, his careful facade shattered. 

Suddenly, Alfred was speechless. He felt as though he stumbled over his sentences around Edward, as if those big brown eyes snatched away every comprehensible thought. 

And yet, Alfred was more himself with Edward than with anyone else. Edward had no expectations of him, and they did tend to be if the same mind in nearly everything. 

When he tasted Edward for the first time, Alfred felt the rush of his thoughts returning to him, settling once again in his mind. To finally have Edward in the way he longed to was a relief like no other. 

But then Edward was gone, a dream snatched away by a nightmare, and Alfred felt him fade into nothingness even as he held him tighter. It was a horror Alfred wouldn’t wish upon his worst enemy, to loose a soulmate, and to grieve alone. 

Again, he was speechless, except he was forced to silence instead of reduced to it. There was a special torture to watching Florence cry for Edward when Alfred was held to the constraints of a casual friendship. No one could know the way they loved each other, and he must contain the grief that wracked his every cell and crushed his soul into something unrecognizable. It was more horrid than any war, than any heartbreak.

Despite the words that fought to leave him, Alfred stayed silent. The Duchess watched him with an eagle eye, and he hoped he never wavered beneath it. Mina kept a comforting hand on his arm throughout the whole wretched funeral, and he hoped he was steady there under her touch.

Alfred would not slander Edward’s name after he had died a hero. It was unfair to do so. His pain was nothing to Edward’s anyways- a cold death against the cobblestones, the fleeting moments he must have had to realize what was happening, and then the blackness that must have enveloped him… it was horrid and it pained him to think of it.

In some strange show if love and respect, Alfred hid their feelings from the world.

He wasn’t going to swear off love forever. Alfred was never one to believe in devotion to one and one alone. It was boring and, besides, weren’t people meant to love as much as possible?

However, the ache that grew within him the longer Edward was gone made him want to avoid love at all costs. He would be loyal to the end for this man who had given him everything, and if love hurt this much, he didn’t want it anymore.

But he wouldn’t swear to it.

And, in the end, Alfred’s first true love was gone, and what else must he say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> youch sorry
> 
> so, the original version is pretty much shit (eee don't come at me), but the true hero of fandom aka george blagden has a cover and it's pure gold. if you don't know why gb is, welcome to the les mis hellhole. he played 1/2 of the biggest ship in the fandom and is a total shipper himself. also he's a wonderful singer and a pure human in general. alright, that's enough gb for now: https://youtu.be/yWRm88xvXVk
> 
> •••
> 
> i may be ace but i'm a hoe for comments <33


	4. the courage of stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> moving on is a process

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dudes i got a lot of little things to post so be prepared for constant spam

_“You taught me the courage of stars before you left-_

_How light carries on endlessly, even after death._

_With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite-_

_How rare and beautiful it is to even exist._

_I couldn’t help but ask for you to say it all again._

_I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen._

_I’d give anything to hear you say it one more time-_

_That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes.”_

\- Sleeping at Last, _Saturn_

 

Everybody reassured him that it was painless, that Edward never suffered, and that it was all so fast that he hardly ever recognized the bullet. Even so, that left a few cruel moments where Edward knew that something was wrong, where he saw the sky above, and thought of something. Or someone.

It only twisted the knife in Alfred’s heart more.

Eventually, the bitterness passed, leaving only a dusty joy at the blessed years they had had together. It was like looking through old letters, a mere echo of the thoughts and feelings expressed within them.

Alfred only wished that he had been allowed to say goodbye. Then again, maybe it would hurt more to have seen Edward go, to see the light leave his eyes. But he didn’t dwell on such thoughts, for thinking of the _maybes_ and _ifs_ was nothing but painful.

He would never forget the way Edward had spoken in the darkness, candid and vulnerable at long last, as Alfred listened to his heartbeat and felt the warmth of his arms. Peace had a way with luring out people’s true thoughts.

Alfred wished that he remembered the words exactly. They were the sort of words one only found in books of poetry. They formed feelings into thoughts and Alfred remembered his sharp intake of breath as Edward built cathedrals with his them. But, they were also the sort of words that capturing in ink would lessen, and the sort of words that would wither without their speaker.

If only Edward could see how truly he embodied those words. He was a light that shone even as he crumbled to dust in the earth, Alfred’s shimmering star in the blackness. Edward wasn’t truly gone.

And, at least, they had been together. They had shared a brilliant moment in time, rare and precious. Most people never knew an explosive love, the sort of love where two souls sang together in perfect harmony. Alfred knew that he was lucky.

So, he visited Edward with a quiet smile, knowing that he was not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sort of short shit is the only thing i can seem to write atm but something longer may be in the works? maybe??
> 
> if you don't know this song already, it's gorgeous and quotable af: https://youtu.be/D_kNNC17nAU
> 
> •••
> 
> i may be ace but i'm a hoe for comments <33


	5. i will wait for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edward is unusually late

_“Come to me in the night hours;_

_I will wait for you._

_And I can’t sleep, ‘cause thoughts devour;_

_Thoughts of you consume.”_

\- Ruelle, _War of Hearts_

 

Alfred lived close enough to the palace that it could be excused. No one would question a political servant bustling around Grosvenor Place, even as day faded into night. It was perfect.

It was a rare treat to have Edward entirely to himself. With all the servants gone for the night, as usual, and with the false security of darkness, Alfred found himself liberated of every societal constraint that held him away from Edward in the first place. They were both of the same mind on the matter- that their nights together were more precious than anything.

As tedious as the situation was, Edward was seldom late. It turned something in Alfred sour, a combination of worry that something had gone terrible awry, and an annoyance that Edward would have so little care as to be unpunctual. Of course, the latter part of the discomfort faded quickly. Alfred found it exceedingly impossible to be upset with Edward, which was either dangerous or magical depending on how trivial the matter of his upset was. However, as the minutes stretched into hours, leaving Alfred curled up alone in his favorite armchair in the dim light of a candle, the worry turned into an unrivaled fear. He waited for a knock, a note, a sign from above, anything at all to assure him that the sense of danger was only in his mind.

The darkness suddenly seemed malicious, eating away at Alfred’s mind until dark thoughts he dared not utter flitted through his conscious. So many things could have happened.

As the clock in the hall chimed midnight, Alfred sank lower into himself, for it seemed that Edward was truly not going to arrive. The day ahead was busy, and it seemed only sane for Alfred to retire, except the fear for Edward refused to let his mind settle.

He would wait, for if Edward came, he must answer. This was Alfred’s curse- to care too much for someone he must not care for at all.

It was a cruel curse, to ache after someone you must pretend to only enjoy casually. Alfred had no excuse to search after Edward.

The sudden realization that the semblance of romance that had developed between the two was nothing to the rest of the world was crushing. Of course, in theory, Alfred knew this, but as the gravity of his solitude in the matter fell upon him, it became utterly unbearable.

But he would wait.

Alfred would wait forever.

 

•••

 

Edward let himself in through the back door, feeling rather more like an intruder than he should. Perhaps some neighbor had spotted him, or even his silhouette, and had called for help. The sickness that dawned upon him at the prospect of endangering Alfred in such a way was startling.

It was well on its way to one, and Edward expected Alfred to be upstairs, but the faint flicker of candlelight from the parlor redirected his tiptoed adventures.

And there he was, looking small without his coat or shoes, curled tightly into the armchair he so adored, a candle pooling into nothingness on the table beside him. Alfred always seemed an angel, but ringed in dusk, he practically glowed like one.

Edward brushed his hand through Alfred’s hair, reveling in being allotted to see his lover so relaxed, no smirk on his lips or furrow between his brows.

And then, with the flicker of eyelids and the smallest of yawns, Alfred was awake.

“You’re not dead.”

[edward deadpans the camera. “only on the inside.” it’s so relatable. the world explodes to the sweet soundtrack of “lol same” and huffy laughter.]

Edward laughed. “No, and I’m sorry to have worried you.”

Alfred climbed slowly from the chair, still half asleep and perhaps more wonderful than Edward had ever seen him. “Who said that I was worried? I am never worried.”

“Mm, I’m sure.”

“But what kept you away? You look beautiful tonight, though.”

Edward slipped his hands around Alfred’s waist, the touch grounding and comforting in a way he would never be capable of explaining. “It’s a long story that I shall relate in detail tomorrow. I think that it must wait, however, for I have missed you.”

Alfred nosed at Edward’s neck. “I too, Edward. I have missed you marvelously.”

And they were together, the waiting over at long last.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be careful chirren thats a lot of fluff
> 
> i've been in this really weird mood for the last hour, probably because i watched this video about jojo siwa and danielle bregoli getting into a twitter flame war, which is the most surreal thing that has ever happened. ahhhhhah
> 
> •••
> 
> i may be ace but i'm a hoe for comments <33

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to request if there's something you'd like me to write!
> 
> •••
> 
> i may be ace but i'm a hoe for comments <33


End file.
